My journey: May 2007

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

so me and debi have desided to combine our blogs and write all our stuff in just one. the address is www.teamdebi.blogspot.com you need to spell it like that otherwise it won't work out. so this is the end of this wee blog. see you over there x

“And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone”

Time flies and I almost can’t believe it but I’m leaving Kansas.
But before I get into that, I really can’t believe I came!

I cant believe I left home

Iv never really been one for setting out on my own, im more of a group person. Not to brave at all. i don’t know what put the idea in my head but I will definitely never regret this choice. This year has been full of experiences. Even if sometimes I felt like I was stottin ma heed of a glass windy !

I feel like I should do one last entry to try and some up this year as best I can. I have littered this entry with song lyrics because I couldn’t pick just one, I think they are all applicable for various reasons. I have also used a lot of philippa’s pictures as she just gave me them so they tell the year and they are new to you guys. I have also used a lot of images from post secret. For those of you that don’t know post secret is a website which people send post cards too. The postcards have an image and the persons anonymous secret on them. So I picked out some that were fitting.

I’m not really sure how to start this…and now I have written that it’s even harder. I suppose I should answer some of the questions I had before I left, but I’m not sure I can. I think the biggest change iv noticed in myself is that I am a lot more thankful for all the things I have at home. Iv always been appreciative but I think by taking everything you know away so there is nothing to fall back on you realize that every element of your life is crucial to keeping you afloat. Its like every block, no matter how insignificant is necessary. All the blocks make up a bridge... and you’re the key stone. I always see things more visually than anything and iv never been good with words, so il just try and explain my imagery if that’s ok. I mean I know I sound like a total tool but your still reading so whatever…you love this.

But in truth I still feel like this inside

as confused young and lost as ever,

“There you go calling me honey, though I think you know, you’ll never see me again”

most importantly I have made some great friends here, ones that wont easily be forgotten. Here is just a small selection:

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A day spent sitting in your house doing nothing becomes the most valuable thing imaginable when its unreachable. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for this experience, which I feel is how that came of a little. I just mean it hard to adapt.

I even managed to get mummy and daddy bear into America for the first time in their lives

In terms of differences across the pond, they really are astronomical. I think it was when I was watching “the queen” that I realized Britain, or any country for that matter, really is just a collection of stereotypes. And for me those are home. Whether it’s the physical landscape, the eating and drinking habits or even the accents. these things are all familiar, its great to experience something new, refreshing, but its even better to know everything can squish back into shape and everything you know can return. Well I hope it can anyway.

Ch ch ch changes:
I have almost lost my accent.
I drink beer.

I have a tattoo.
Im under 12stone.
Im not a teenager.

I own pair of girls jeans.

”This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go”

Some unusual observations I made about the American species:
They dance different.
The toilet paper squares are smaller.
They don’t have radiators.
They don’t actually say ya’all.
You get charged to receive a call!

Turns out tornadoes are not a daily occurrence

They are all from Scotland…or Ireland……never England/Germany etc
In Scotland we have showers, in America they take them.

“I can’t believe your leaving”

I am writing this little bit in Alaska. Kansas was an amazing experience. One I would recommend to anyone who can handle it. Leaving a place where you have invested yourself for 10months is near to impossible. Especially when you have made some good friends there. Ones you don’t want to leave. When I left home it was difficult but I knew I was coming back. This is different, hard to adapt to, I know modern technology and cheap airlines have made the world smaller but its still extremely hard to leave so much behind. I really think that I have changed so much this past year. In good ways and bad.

ok so here are just a few pictures to sum up some of my trip.

a little new york heavy, but as I said I don’t want to go repeating old pictures.

“somehow everything I own smells of you”
Kansas will always have a little spot in my heart. It may sound silly as I was only here for a year but that year was laden with new things and il miss that. Well im anxious to post this so il go ahead. Il see you all very soon, except of course the readers I picked up in Kansas…
“I think its going to be a long long time”

“leaving on a jet plane, not sure when il be back again”

“So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road”